A House Divided
They say familiarity breeds contempt.
The senior members of Kids Incorporated had known each other for the better part of four years. In that time, a lot had changed with the band. Its last founding member, Mickey, had left the band when most of the kids were still very young. Just this past year, Gloria left them as well. She had been the oldest member of the band, and while the kids felt they were mature enough to handle the band without her, they still had a few things left to learn.
Today, it appeared one of them was how to run a vacuum cleaner. "What does this button do?" said Richie as he pressed it without waiting for an answer.
An attachment fell off. "I think you broke it." said Connie.
"Wouldn't it be easier just to pool all our money and buy Riley a birthday present?" The Kid complained as he wiped down the storefront windows.
"Yeah, but when Riley walks in here and sees The P*lace spotless, it'll be worth it just to see the look on his face." Ryan told him.
"How old is he?" asked Connie.
"I think he's...what? 23?" said Ryan. "Hey, Renee!"
Renee turned off the mixer she'd been using. "Huh?" she called from behind the counter.
"Riley - he's 23?"
"Twenty-four." said Renee as she wiped a splatter of cake batter off her face.
"Wow!" Richie exclaimed. "I didn't think he was that old!"
"Remember when 20 was old?" Stacy said, pausing for a moment before continuing to refill the napkin dispensers.
"Remember when you said you were gonna help me?" said Renee. She gestured for Stacy to hold the bowl steady so she could spread the batter.
Ryan stood in the middle of the lobby. "Looks like we're done in here."
"Except for those dishes." said Kid.
"Well, what was I supposed to make a cake in, Kid? Cardboard boxes?" snapped Renee. "We should've bought one of these, too. It would have taken a lot less time."
"We've got plenty of time." said Ryan. "Come on."
Together, it was actually fun cleaning The P*lace. They finished the stage and the dining room and went on into the back. While straightening up the storeroom, they couldn't help but sift through the memories they found in some of the boxes.
"Look, it's our records!" Kid exclaimed, and the girls cooed and sighed.
"When did you make records?" Richie asked.
"Ages ago." replied Renee. She laughed. "Look how goofy we look!"
"You looked goofy!" Kid teased her. He stared at the album cover some more. "I loved that hat."
Stacy was sitting cross-legged on the floor, still rifling through a box. When she pulled out a photo, she recoiled in disgust. "Aah! Who put this in here?"
Ryan took hold of it and made a face. "Who on Earth are they?"
He passed it to Renee, who quickly passed it to Kid, who held it at a distance as if it would bite him. "Would you believe...that was us?" he said.
"Was it Halloween?" asked Ryan.
"No, but it was a nightmare." said Stacy. "That was our new hardcore image that lasted for maybe 10 minutes before they booed us off the stage."
"Who took that picture?" asked Renee. "And why haven't I killed them yet?"
"You guys save all of your half-baked ideas?" joked Ryan.
"Oh!" Renee exclaimed suddenly. "Riley's cake!" She took off for the kitchen.
"Mickey thought that one up." said The Kid. "I think he must have packed this box."
"Yep," said Stacy as she pulled something else out of the box, "this was Mickey's box." She held up a newspaper clipping.
"Ooh, a princess!" said Connie. "She's got pretty eyes."
"And a pretty harsh life." added Stacy, as she found the companion articles that read Princess Missing! and Princess Safe At Home. "She ran away because they wouldn't let her live like us."
"I didn't know there were foreign dignitaries visiting here." Ryan said in astonishment.
"She just got crowned recently." said Renee as she came back into the room. "Sent me a telegram. C'mon, we've gotta hurry up - Riley called."
"What'd you tell him?" asked Ryan as they began picking up boxes.
"To take his time because we were trying to surprise him." Renee said. When Ryan just stared at her, she laughed. "What did you think I told him? I said everything was fine."
When The P*lace was gleaming from top to bottom and the cake was frosted, Kids Inc. had some spare time to go back down Memory Lane.
"Mickey saved tons of things." said Stacy. She still had the box on her lap as she held up a hard hat. A fake mustache fell out. "Why he saved these, I have no clue."
"Oh, no." Kid cracked up laughing. "These were our lame disguises to get into that Siedah Garret video!" He held the mustache up to his face. "I can't imagine how Riley recognized us." he joked.
Richie reached into the box and found more pictures. "Ryan, you aren't in any of these." he said.
"This was before Ryan." Renee told him. Then she added. "When life wasn't dull."
Without looking up, Ryan replied. "Ha ha. Did you get the candles out yet?"
Renee went to jump up and run off again...but then she stopped. "Wait. What are you supposed to be doing?"
"Delegating authority." said Ryan. "Very tough job. A lot of skill involved."
Renee continued towards the counter, while muttering, "Yeah, you and Mickey would have gotten along just fine."
Riley's surprise party went off without a hitch. He was genuinely surprised to find that the kids had done all his work for him.
Cleaning up after the party wasn't nearly as fun as it was earlier. Ryan kept finding Mickey's box of memorabilia, and he kept attempting to put it somewhere the other kids couldn't find it. It bothered him that Renee, Stacy, and Kid seemed to wish things would revert back to before he showed up. His logical side warned him that he was just jumping to conclusions, but his ego was still a little bruised.
Riley was a lot faster with a washcloth than they were, so it didn't take long to finish. "You guys really did a great job." he said. "Why don't you take the afternoon off?"
"You mean it?" asked Stacy.
"Sure. Think of it as my gift to you." said Riley, and they all laughed.
"You're not supposed to give presents on your birthday!" Renee said to him. She smeared a fingerful of frosting on his nose.
"Who cares – let's go before he changes his mind!" said Richie.
Kid had gone into the back and came back with the ubiquitous box. "I can't believe Mickey saved all of this." he said. "Ryan, you've gotta look in here! You missed some good times."
Ryan didn't bother to hide his disinterest. "So I've been hearing."
"What you got there?" asked Riley.
"Mickey left a box of stuff here." said Stacy.
"With frightening pictures in it." Ryan added.
Renee looked at him quizzically, but didn't say anything. "Speaking of pictures, you wouldn't happen to know who took that one of Rocky Road to Doom, do you?" she asked Riley.
"Did you just say Rocky Road to Doom?" said Ryan, pulling a face.
Riley looked guilty. "Must've been that guy from the paper. Yeah – yeah, it was that guy from the paper. You know, I've never trusted those people."
"Oh, now this picture I do remember you taking." Renee said as she held up a picture of Kids Inc. standing on a float. They continued to laugh and joke, but Ryan didn’t get the punch line.
Things started off much better the next day. All the kids showed up on time and performed their latest number without wanting to wax nostalgic. The trouble arrived with the new song lyrics.
"Check it out, you guys." said Ryan as he came in to the storeroom brandishing a stack of booklets. "Everything showed up today."
"Great! Three songs." said Stacy. "Which one are we gonna do?"
Hands shot out in all directions, grabbing the songs. "Ooh, this one!" said Connie.
"I wanna do this one." Richie said, shoving another song in Connie's face. They started arguing.
"Wait, wait, let me see." Renee attempted to intercede.
But Ryan took all the lyrics away. "Well, we've got that long weekend coming up, so we could do all of them."
Renee's hands were still outstretched where they'd been unexpectedly emptied. "Or not." she added.
"We weren't expecting three." said Stacy.
Ryan shrugged her off. "Oh, we're fine! We can do three."
"I don't know, Ryan." Kid said. "It's only one extra day, and my relatives are coming to visit."
"Don't be silly, Kid – Ryan says you're fine." muttered Renee.
Today, Ryan had no patience for snide comments. "And what does Renee say?" he asked her.
"Nothing in mixed company." said Renee. They exchanged the usual glares.
No one dismissed it this time, however. "How 'bout two?" Kid suggested. The rest of the kids murmured their approval.
"'C'mon, Ryan, at least it's better than one." Stacy pointed out.
"Oh, brilliant deduction, Stace. I'm glad you figured that out." said Ryan. Stacy sat down on the tabletop, scowling. "I still say three."
"Well, we say...five." Renee pretended to count the remaining band members. "So you're outnumbered."
"Why is it every time you say, 'we', I only hear you talking?"
But before Renee could say anything to that, The Kid stepped in. "Well, you should listen more closely - because no one agrees with you."
"All right, then which two?" said Ryan. Everyone was quiet again. "Let's see how long it takes you to come to blows over that one."
Normally, it would have - but for once, everyone worked together.
"I still want this one." said Richie, and Kid threw in his approval. The girls, then, simultaneously picked the ballad from the two remaining songs.
Renee held the two choices out to Ryan as if she was giving them to him. "Hmm...two." Just as Ryan reached for the songs, she dropped them instead. Ryan wordlessly snatched up the songs and stomped off to the stage.
The lines continued to be drawn the following day. Renee, Stacy, and The Kid were studying in the storeroom while the younger kids were still at school.
Stacy couldn't help but notice that Renee kept thumbing through her books and sighing. "You could ask Ryan." she said.
"Yeah, that's gonna happen." Kid muttered as Renee snorted.
"What? Beats going to the library."
"Yeah, well, at least a book doesn't roll its eyes at you." said Renee. "I'd rather look it up any day than have to sit through, 'Actually, according to The International Encyclopedia of Absolutely Everything in the Universe, blah, blah, blah...’” Everyone laughed. “I swear, one of these days I’m going to find that book he’s been reading and just…make…paper airplanes out of every little page!” She mimed tearing motions.
Richie and Connie had arrived, and Ryan had already intercepted them. The three were deep in conversation and didn’t seem to realize that they were in the presence of anyone else. "Stupid history test!" Richie was saying. "How was I supposed to know the Underground Railroad wasn't really underground?"
"Actually, Rich-" Ryan began to say.
Kid choked down his laughter, which made the girls start giggling.
Ryan glared at them, but continued. "Actually, Rich, it's not even a railroad, either. See, according to-"
The laughter could no longer be held back, and Renee's head hit the table.
"I'm sorry - what's so funny?" said Ryan.
"Nothing." said Stacy.
"Nothing." said The Kid.
"Nothing!" Renee attempted to say through her hand - but she could not stop laughing.
"Yeah, okay. Are we gonna rehearse the song you picked?"
Stacy and The Kid capitulated, but they were unable to stop Renee from adding salt to Ryan's wound. "I guess you had to be there." she quipped.
Even Richie could feel the air get chillier. "Ooh..." he said and then quickly left.
“That wasn’t very nice.” said Connie once Ryan had left as well.
“Oh, please!” Renee said. “This is Ryan, remember? He loves trading insults. Watch – he’ll be griping about how long it took us to get out there.” Suddenly, she paused, and then sat back down. “I might as well give him time to think about it.” she said smugly. Connie frowned and left without another word. “Connie!” Renee called after her. No answer. “Ugh!” She got up and grudgingly left the storeroom.
Very few audience members were probably aware of the infighting going on with Kids Incorporated. The one-upmanship only made for a better show in their opinion. They would have changed their minds if they’d followed the band into the storeroom. The noise was so deafening, they didn’t even hear Riley come in.
“What the – whoa!” he exclaimed. “Hey!” No one heard him. He whistled as loud as he could, and eventually, they stopped. “Now, what’s going on here?” Everyone immediately began talking at once again. “HOLD IT! You guys realize there are customers out there complaining about the noise?"
Before anyone else could interject, Ryan quickly said, "Sorry, Riley, just a little argument." Everyone glared at him.
"Well, your 'little' argument could turn into a big mess if you don't keep it down!" said Riley. He left.
They started again once he left, though. "What makes you think he was talking to you?" Renee asked Ryan.
Ryan shrugged. "Riley knows who's in charge." he said smugly.
"He knows he's in charge!" said Kid. "Nobody runs Kids Incorporated all by themselves."
"Well, somebody ought to."
"Who says it has to be you?" Stacy chimed in.
Seeing the events play out just as he feared, Ryan couldn't help but react irrationally. "Well, if you'd rather be led by a box of fake mustaches, go right ahead!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Stacy asked him.
"Can't figure it out?" Richie sneered.
"Can you?"
"Yeah! He means...uh, what did you mean, Ryan?" laughed Richie nervously.
"Makes no difference to me," Renee said, "Being lorded over by you isn't any different than being lorded over by Mickey." She figured Ryan would cringe at the name, which he did. "Ha! I knew that's what this was! You've been sulking ever since we found that box and decided to look through it."
"And look through it, and look through it!" Ryan added.
"Not everybody decided it." Connie pointed out.
"That's funny," Renee turned to her, "there was this little girl under my elbow who looked just like you!"
"Yeah, Connie, you were just as interested in those pictures as we were." said Stacy.
"I wasn't." said Richie.
"Oh, that's why I was enjoying myself!" Renee quipped. "Remind me to call Mickey and thank him."
"It's not just the box." Kid continued. "The set list, Riley's surprise party...you've been acting like this all week! Frankly, we're getting tired of it."
"Getting?" said Renee.
"No, we are tired of it!" Kid corrected himself.
"You hate hearing anything at all about Mickey," added Stacy, "yet you're acting just like him."
"So what did you do when the magnificent Mickey stepped out of line?" Ryan sneered.
Renee, Stacy, and The Kid all looked at one another. Without saying a word, all three of them turned and left the room.
Part 2
