The Price of Being New
Where I come from, money is everything. You either got it, or you don't. I used to think there wasn't anything you couldn't buy if you had enough money.
I'm bored. I think I'll go see how the locals spend their money.
My old man lets me get whatever I want as long as I stay out of his hair. I saw the sweetest guitar the other day, so I picked it up. $200? Chump change! Of course, you can't be a rock star in jeans and a t-shirt, so I grabbed a few (dozen) outfits to go with it. Let's see what else Pop's credit can buy.
Bikes are for chumps, so what I'm riding around in is a top-of-the-line full size van. It's an '85 - you can't even get these yet unless you know the right people. Riley, drive around the block a few times so everyone can envy me!
I've decided to start a rock band. I've already got a van full of instruments. Now all I need is someone to play them all...apparently, this town is full of kids that can sing.
So I spend the afternoon pretending to be entertained by this little kid. She says she's part of a band here that's the best - we'll see.
Hmm. I'm not too impressed by the looks of them. That one guy seems pretty bossy. Ooh, but Smiley here is sassy!
They ain't half bad. They'd be better with the right equipment, though.
What's this?
Yeah, I thought that guy was too big for his britches. Jeez, what a dictator! I hope they dump that clown.
Ha, ha, they're my band now.
When you've got a lot of money, people are usually your best pals. Just flash a few expensive outfits and you're friends for life. Riley, get the outfits!
Let's see: we've got Sassy, Sassy's kid sister, someone they call Kid (so I don't even have to remember his name! Convenient!), and Gloria who doesn't know it yet, but she's gonna be my main squeeze. That's another place having a van comes in handy.
Boss Man doesn't look too happy. Too bad. He obviously doesn't learn very quick, either.
Riley, call an ambulance - this guy's about to need one.
Hey, now you're not happy with me, either? What is it with you? So I don't know your names. I'll buy you some new ones! Who needs friends when you've got money? I just want a band, okay?
What, do I need to tell Riley to show you the stuff again?
So after all that, you take the dictator back. And my chauffeur??? What the - you're not gonna make half as much as I was paying you working in some dive!
You know what? I don't need you. I can hire some better singers.
They sure look like they're having fun, though...
I know what you're thinking. "He spent all that money for nothing!" Nah. I'll just toss all this junk in the rec room next to the telescopes (from when I wanted to be an astronomer), dirt bikes (from when I wanted my own stunt team), and scuba gear (I nearly became the next Jacques Cousteau). Yeah, money means nothing to me, and as soon as I find some schmuck to drive me home, I'll find someone else who's willing to be bought.
Anyone wanna drive me home?
The End
