SiGnS tHaT yOu ArE oBsEsSedD wItH kIdS iNcOrPoRaTeD

1. You can have an entire conversation with just Kids Inc. song titles.


2. At family gatherings, you practice synchronized bowling
3. You go to ice cream parlors and order a Rocky Rahsaan Ripple.
4. You call people "gweebs".
5. You organize a benefit for natural causes.
6. You buy an old trunk and wait for a leprechaun to come out.
7. You call your little sister Stacy.
8. You call your big sister Renee.
9. When something dramatic happens, you go off to one side and wait for the lights to dim so you can sing.
10. You talk to strange old guys in garages.
11. You think sneakers with a tux, Hawaiian print shirts, and hats three sizes too small are in style
12. You call up the Public Works department and demand that the fire hydrant near your house have a flat top
13. You ask your parents if you have an identical cousin in another country.
14. All your dreams are perfectly choreographed.
15. Someone in your neighborhood invents a time machine every other week.
16. You get the hiccups every time you get worried.
17. You like to stand in front of buildings telling people about the history of them.
18. For your friend's birthday, you give them stuff they already own as presents.
19. You seek out homeless people and insist on helping them.
20. You go up to exchange students and tell them, "The lion is eating your foot."
21. All of your problems can be solved in 22 minutes or less.
22. You celebrate Look for Ryan Day
23. The only word you know how to spell is KIDS - and you always add "Yeah!" to the end.
24. Inanimate objects talk to you.
25. Whenever you see a bunny, you either try to take it home or run away screaming, "Get away! I don't want to get stung!"
26. You encourage your grandparents to hang out with your friends.
27. You're convinced that The P*lace actually exists, and you spend all your time driving around looking for it.
28. You stage neighborhood wars against the people who liked MMC.
29. You always add an asterisk to the word "place".
30. You rate things on a scale of Amazing to Zowie.
31. You already know what albums you'd take with you should an alien show up on your doorstep.
32. You wear the same outfit 3 days in a row.
33. You've gone to concerts with a pin, searching for the Kangaloons.
34. You've successfully hypnotized people with necklaces.
35. Tinkerbell visits you regularly.
36. You have the darndest time hanging on to concert tickets.
37. You hide the fact that you have siblings from everyone you know.
38. You're trying to have your name legally changed to Kid.
39. Or Flip.
40. You leave broken instruments out for Mr. Angel to fix, thinking one day, you'll catch him.
41. "What do you mean, 'It's just a TV show'?"
42. You tried to buy a ticket in the Win a Date with Renee raffle.
43. Instead of studying, you sit and wait for Brendan Roberts to come and sell you test answers - on your custom fitted fire hydrant.
44. You remove several screws from your spiral staircase so it shakes when you run up it.
45. You scour music stores searching for those curved tambourines.
46. You name one of your children Ziggy.
47. The staircase isn't the only thing in your house with a few screws loose.
48. You write to every channel demanding that they air KI - including the Weather Channel.
49. All the former cast members have restraining orders against you.
50. You write to the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (NARAS), asking why Kids Inc. was never nominated for any Grammys.
51. "What do you mean, 'They're not a real band'?"
52. Someone calls you a gweeb, and you say, "And damn proud of it, too!"
53. Your little sister asks you to call her Fergie instead.
54. Your special friend refuses to guide you anymore.
55. Trekkies think you need to get a life.
56. My Kitty Voice is better than yours!
57. You conspire to destroy computers and other electrical devices, because you're sure they're evil and out to replace you.
58. Your submission is on here.
59. 8 of your submissions are on here.
60. Someone sends you the link to this page.
61. You tell them you already have it bookmarked.
62. It's your home page.
63. You're training for your black-and-blue belt in Taro Sushi.
64. You're up at 3:30 in the morning creating an entire website FROM MEMORY ALONE!